LOVE and FRIENDSHIP

1 Corinthians 13:3-9 (NIV)

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[a] but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

------------------------------------------------------
 
I have sat here for over 30 minutes looking at this scripture, and I have been trying to figure out what I want to say. I'm having a hard time putting everything going through my mind in words. I am reminded by this scripture that all I can do is my best to be those things to my friends, to be there when I'm needed, pray, and love.
 
I am trying to look at the positives. I am trying to see how the situation can turn out for the best and how everyone can grow to be a better person. However, right now I just don't see that big picture. Only God has it. All I can see are the lies, drama, judgement, and then I'm reminded of an old saying I was told... "Hurting people, hurt people." All I can do is assume they must be hurt for some reason and lashing out.
 
People are brought into our lives for a reason. I know this is true. I am just waiting for an answer on what I'm supposed to do with this friendship... I'm pretty lost.

Ethan Update

We had a scary incident about a month ago with Ethan during his feedings. I took him to the ER, and they suggested we follow up with our heart doctor and pediatrician.


Good news! The PFO is no longer an issue, it has closed. There is no more heart murmur! The pulumonary valve was also not opening and closing properly. With every visit we have been told it looks better, and this last visit was no exception. The cardiologist confirmed that the incident had nothing to do with his heart conditions.


The pediatrician also suggested a swallow study since we have had ongoing issues with feedings.


We had the swallow study this Tuesday. He is in fact aspirating and the formula is going into his windpipe. They tried different consistencies of formula, and found one that he didn't seem to aspirate. We are thickening his feeds to the consistency of honey. They also observed NPR, which means formula is also going up into his nasal cavity.


The Speech Language Pathologist (Colleen) at Phoenix Children's Hospital really helped us with the base doctor, and we know have an appointment with a GI doctor on Wednesday in Mesa. The base said all the GI doctors at PCH were booked until October.


The folks over at PCH also recommended we eliminate everything from his diet but formula and the thickening gel they prescribed. His ezcema is HORRIBLE lately. We've resolved to putting the poor guy in long sleeves when we are at home to keep him from scratching at his arms. PCH suspects this is the result of an allergy, and this is something we had already talked about with our pediatrician.


Colleen suggested that the GI doctor would likely request an allergy test in the course of Ethan's visit.


We are just praying for some sort of answers so we can have a completely healthy little man. :)

Surprise!!!!

Today: All bundled up at home

We got a HUGE surprise yesterday!!!!


I decided to head to the hospital to visit Ethan yesterday morning. Mady was being fussy and it was nearly nap time, so Casey agreed to stay home and go later in the day.


When I came in around 11 am, the nurse came up and told me how well Ethan was doing. As I changed Ethan's diaper and started to feed him, the nurse told me that he would get to go home as soon as the Dr made rounds sometime before 1, and also once discharge papers were ready. I decided to stick around and hang out with Ethan.


I starting frantically texting Casey to get Ethan's going home clothes ready. They were already picked out, but not with me. After all, we weren't expecting him home until Monday at the very soonest.


Casey and Mady arrived just in time for rounds. The Dr stated how impressed he was that we were going to get to go home so soon, and how quickly things had turned around. They are only recommending an appointment with his pediatrician this Monday or Tuesday for follow up, and an appointment with a cardiologist to follow up on the murmur they found as a result of a thickened valve. We trust that this has already resolved, but of course will follow the recommendations.

Mady met her brother for the first time before we left. Hey, she's kind of loud sometimes and we had decided it was for the best (for Ethan and the other babies). She just couldn't stop staring and saying "baby!".


We were out of the hospital and on our way home in no time.


Abby (our dog) just smelled Ethan for a good hour, and then gave his feet kisses. Rocky (our cat) just wants to snuggle up to whoever is holding the baby. Can you say JEALOUS?!


Today, Mady is wavering between competing for attention and loving on the baby. She has already figured out how to give the baby kisses and "be easy" as she says. Occasionally she has a confused look about something, such as burping the baby. She is really dealing with Ethan ALOT better than we had expected.


Before I go, I will share a quick funny with you. Casey changed Ethan's diaper, and it was his first poopy diaper with Ethan. Let's just say... Suddenly Casey screams and says, "Get it off of me, get it off of me!!!" It seems as though little guy was not quite done filling up his diaper.

Open crib and eating well!

Daddy's Wedding Ring and Ethan

Ethan is now in an open crib. The IV has been COMPLETELY been removed and oxygen is still out.


Donna, the Nurse Practioner present for Ethan's birth, was assigned to him this evening. She states they aren't doing anything for him that we cannot do at home for Ethan. He's just eating, sleeping and requiring diaper changes. The nurse says they have to wake him each 4 hrs to eat. Donna said she didn't see any reason why Ethan wouldn't be coming home early next week, she said she thinks he will be sent home by Monday. However, we will know more when the time comes.


I did get to feed him and change 2 diapers tonight. He ate almost 2 1/2 ounces, which is twice what he took in the feeding last night. That's all for now!

Update on our Ethan's progress

12/2 Thursday about 10 am & 8 pm

Yay! Oxygen has been removed!

Ethan is still doing well. The nurse was able to remove his oxygen and leave it off. I did get to feed Ethan, and he finished off the bottles I had just brought in. He only has an order in to have 20 ccs every 3 hours. He had 50 ccs from the bottle! The nurse got permission to disconnect the iv fluids, and he won't need them anymore as long as he continues to eat so well. They did leave the iv needle in though.... just in case.

He will be moved to an open crib as soon as one is available. For now, they have opened the top of the incubator so as to stimulate an open crib.


The nurse also mentioned (and I did notice) that he has a bit of jaundice, but she wasn't quite sure what was going to happen there. She thinks that either they will let it resolve on its own or he might have to have 1 to 2 days of light therapy. This is very minor, and of course, very common.


It was great spending so much time with my Ethan today.


Now, the next goal is for me to get some rest! Good night all.


12/1 Wednesday 7:30pm


Ethan is doing EVEN better! He has been feeding by bottle a little bit and they tube feed the rest. Oxygen flow was turned down and is still at 21%. I did get to hold Ethan for a bit, and even got to feed him a few little "bites".  He seemed a lot more like a "normal" baby and was not anywhere near as cranky tonight.

He kept yanking out this oxygen, so when I was leaving they decided they would try to take the oxygen off and keep a close eye on him for an hour or so. If he tolerated it, they will keep the oxygen off. I am sure he did just fine last night because when he would take his oxygen off I would look up at the numbers and see that he was still doing just fine.



We did ask about what would need to happen to see Ethan discharged yesterday. Thanks to the help of my friend Tasha. They are intending to send him home without any monitors as far as what I can understand.



11/30 Tuesday 10 am



I got a much more informative update during rounds this morning. Dr. McQueen states Ethan looks much better. The dr is still unsure on exactly what caused his breathing problems- they are saying it was either Congenital Pneumonia or immature lungs.

Last night they reduced his oxygen from 30% to 28% and all stats are looking good. They want to make sure that they complete 5 days of antibotics and 5 days of steroids with recovery time before release. He has to be off the oxygen and eating via nipple or bottle before leaving. They are considering putting him in an open crib soon. They are also starting to tube feed him later today. At this point, he should be less fussy and not require the blankets and such over him.

Dr says if Ethan follows what he thinks will happen, we will be released early next week.

Dr reviewed repeat chest and stomach xrays that were done this morning and yesterday. Chest looks much better, and stomach xray was to check to make sure his intestines were ready for feeding. The neonatalogist states he is ready for 10 ccs feeding each time.

11/30 Tuesday 5 pm

Nurse states they were able to take the oxygen from 28% to 25% then to 23% to 21% with periods of 2 hours that Ethan's oxygen was just  fine. Once he was at 21% for 2 hrs, they turned down the volume from 3.5 to 3. For those who aren't sure, 21% oxygen is the air we breath on a normal basis.

He woke up fussy again from his sedation with Verset (spelling), and nurse gave him 1 cc of breast milk by mouth. He was very happy about it, and fell back asleep and did not require more sedation.

Ethan's weight is at 6 lb 1 oz. We did not hold or touch him since he was resting peacefully and had been so fussy.



Everything is looking up. At 6, we headed to the NICU discharge class!!! WOOHOO!



Our Sweet Baby Ethan!



Update on Ethan

Per the doctor's recommendations and those of the doctor where they sent me for my 32 week ultrasound, I am now getting weekly ultrasounds and weekly appointments with my OB. This was recommended after finding that Ethan's abdomen is measuring 2 weeks behind, which COULD signal some issues may be occuring. Also, the doctor is suggesting inducing labor at 38 to 38 1/2 weeks due to Ethan's classification as "Small for Gestation".


I have researched what the ultrasound has found, and I have discovered everything from something minor (aka an error due to the baby's positioning) to major issues which I have no control over.


The ultrasound for the next 2 weeks are to check the blood flow to the baby, movement, positioning, and fluids. This week's appointment went well, and Ethan is finally head down instead of transverse (sideways). At 35 weeks, approximately 2 weeks from now, they will do measurements again to see how things are looking.


We did calculate that if I am induced as suggested, we will have new baby boy sometime the week of Thanksgiving! What a great gift to be thankful for!!!!


We are confident that God's hand is in this, and Ethan will arrive as a happy and healthy baby!